fragment

last night i held a fragment of our golden halcyon days

it was brilliant colors that don't exist
insubstantial and translucent
mirroring the gossamer lens of my heart

i held it to my eye & looked at nostalgia
i held it to my ear & heard the echo of dreams and fantasies
i held it to my chest & felt it beat a fierce song
mirroring the rhythm of my heart

i wanted to rip my hair and scream into my pillow

i wanted to laugh and dance in fields of sunflowers
i wanted to cry for joy and for sorrow

and in those moments when time seemed to freeze –
when the hourglass ceased to empty,
when the clock came to a standstill –
all the memories came flooding back
and my heart started to ache again

i clenched the shard tightly
and vowed never to let it go
though the sharp edges cut my fingertips

and in the midst of my agony
it
shattered